Swig some eggnog every time said male lead droolingly points to overhanging mistletoe, as happens this year (so far) in The Mistletoe Inn and as we’ve seen before in (to name a few) The Mistletoe Promise, Under the Mistletoe, Mistletoe Over Manhattan, Moonlight & Mistletoe, A Christmas Kiss, and A Christmas Kiss II. Here’s a lethal drinking game: Take a shot of peppermint schnapps every time a female lead stumbles her speech or bumps into a nutcracker when she encounters the blandly handsome Old Navy mannequin of a male lead, as the besotted damsels do in Marry Me at Christmas, Miss Christmas, Switched for Christmas, Sharing Christmas, Christmas at the Holly Lodge, and The Mistletoe Inn. The tropes, as mind-melting as they are mesmerizing, permeate casting, dialogue, pacing, set decoration, and mannerisms-as omnipresent as the fake snow that, upon closer inspection, appears to just be clumped-together fake cobwebs. The movies all depict a fantasy world in which America has been Made Great Again. But Hallmark hasn’t announced any plans to diversify December next year. (Even interethnicity relationships, it seems, are too taboo in 2017.) This winter, Holly Robinson Peete (from the original 21 Jump Street) will star in both The Midnight Show Murders (based on Al Roker’s novel) and a reality show alongside her husband, former NFL quarterback Rodney Peete. Regarding diversity, their executive vice president of programming, Michelle Vicary, told Bloomberg Businessweek last year, “Um … we are taking a look at that.” Of this year’s 21 films, only Enchanted Christmas stars minority love interests, Latinos Alexa and Carlos PenaVega. Of 136 Christmas movies Crown Media (which operates Hallmark Channel and Hallmark Movies & Mysteries) has produced to date, nearly all feature white leads. Since launching in 2001, Hallmark Channel has remained the most unapologetically formulaic network on TV. They are delivered earnestly and invariably received with a shimmering Hallmark smile. “ Santa Just Is White” seems to be etched into every Hallmark movie’s town seal. There are occasional sightings of Christmas sweater–wearing black people, but they exist only to cheer on the dreams of the white leads, and everyone on Trump’s naughty list-Muslims, gay people, feminists-has never crossed the snowcapped green-screen mountains to taint these quaint Christmas villages. They’re centered on beauty-pageant heroines and strong-jawed heroes with white-nationalist haircuts.
They brim with white heterosexuals who exclusively, emphatically, and endlessly bellow “Merry Christmas” to every lumberjack and labradoodle they pass. Real and fictional heartland small towns with names such as Evergreen and Cookie Jar are as thriving as their own small businesses, and even a high school art teacher (played by Trump supporter and the face of Hallmark, Candace Cameron Bure) can afford a lavishly renovated Colonial home.
As much as these movies offer giddy, predictable escapes from Trumpian chaos, they all depict a fantasy world in which America has been Made Great Again. Hallmark Channel has boomed since Trump began campaigning, and the network’s strongholds map to his Electoral College victories.Īfter watching a few of Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas films, the network’s burgeoning red-state appeal comes into focus.
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